The Night of Crazy, Make Believe

I feel as though I’ll fit right in. Running about like a maniac – last minutes costume touches, groceries for the night, party supplies prepared at-the-ready (work requirement), laundry so there is clean gitch to even put on under the costume, tidying the front foyer for those intrusive neighbours who step-inside-for-candy, etc, etc has me wishing to clutch my hair in both hands at the root and run hell-bent down the street while screaming and/or drooling with a glazed non-sugar-induced look in my eye! People, I hope, will just assume I’m putting on a show for Halloween night and not be fully aware that I have, in fact, lost my mind…

Happy Halloween everyone.

Halloween Fun - Trick It! Treat It! or Eat It!

By Guest Blogger - Andriana Mantas of Collaborative Minds©

As Autumn is upon us, there are many events and activities that take place including apple picking, Thanksgiving, Halloween, raking and jumping in leaves etc. So let's get into the Dos and Don'ts of Halloween.

Let's begin with the excitement of a choosing a costume. This can either be a very quick decisive process or it can be 'tricky' - and by tricky, I mean that your child may change their mind over and over again. If your child is at an age where you can discuss likes and dislikes favourite characters, heroes, sport teams and players this allows you to create a short list. By narrowing things down and prioritizing, certain items can be hand-made or produced from home. If a trip to the costume shop is necessary, have fun with it and make it adventurous. Now that you have the costume ready to wear, be prepared to see your little one dress up and down over the days or weeks before and after Halloween.

Candy is also a big part of Halloween; in fact there is too much candy just before Halloween, that evening and of course the days following. What to do with all that junk-food? What else can we 'shell out' besides candy to our 'trick-or-treaters'? Some ideas include bubbles, stickers, washable tattoos, pretzels, gift certificate, and beach balls. Other options to help keep the amount of sugar from entering the house is to keep trick-or-treat outings short. Planning an activity helps to get them home quicker without them feeling like they are missing out! Encourage your child to sort through their bags of candy and be selective about which pieces to keep. This provides an opportunity for you to examine the treats and toss candy that may be unsafe. Allow your child to select one or two treats on Halloween night, then find a spot for the excess candy - the location should be out of the child's reach and not easily accessible.

Have a fun and safe Halloween and enjoy all the tricks and treats. To get you into the spirit, below is a song about the 'five little pumpkins'.
Five Little Pumpkins
Five little pumpkins sitting on a gate
The first one said "Oh my, it's getting late"
The second one said "There are witches in the air"
The third one said "But we don't care!"
The fourth one said "Let's run and run and run"
The fifth one said "I'm ready for some fun!"
WOOOOOO, went the wind
And out went the light
And the five little pumpkins rolled out of sight!

For more information, please contact Andriana Mantas of Collaborative Minds at 416-803-5321 or collaborativeminds@sympatico.ca

Daughter-ism Classic

My daughter (age 3), for reasons not entirely yet defined, woke very early this morning - and couldn't re-settle to sleep. First hubby spent some time trying to settle her - she was still tired! - but he needed to rise to get ready for work before she had returned to slumber. I took the next shift with her - starting first rocking with her in her chair then moving quietly to her bed. Throughout this time, I had been gently tickling her arms and back - something she's always enjoyed, even as an infant.
In moving to her bed, I'd quietly negotiated in whispered tones - "mommy will tickle for one more minute, then we'll sit quietly for 5 minutes". This forewarning proves quite effective with our little tart in most situations and faced no resistance in these wee morning hours either. A minute later, the gentle tickles stopped and a moment later I hear in a tiny little whisper..."will you tickle my arm pit?"

"No baby, it's time to settle quietly for 5 minutes."

"Mommy, can you tickle my arm pit?" - she's now draped her appendage across my face & neck to encourage this motion.

This entire dialogue could not be heard by the dogs...it was that hushed.

"No baby, I'm not discussing this...we had a deal...5 minutes quiet".

Next, and without pause...she responds with...

"This is ridiculous..."

Toddler, Toddler, Get Off My Leg!

There was a woman walking down the street, minding her own business and appearing to enjoy the view of a beautiful day and peaceful surroundings. She was moving along at a comfortable pace when her toe caught on something and she fell directly to the ground with no time even to break her fall. She skinned her chin and was splayed about across the ground for several moments before she actually realized what had happened – one moment she was moving along and enjoying the moment and the next she was bloodied and sore. I saw this woman fall – and in my own split second moment opted to join her on the ground rather than simply lend her a hand because I thought it was a rare opportunity to see the world from a different angle.

Dear reader, have you scrolled back and re-read that first paragraph wondering if you are over tired or, perhaps, inebriated? You have not lost your mind, it is gibberish but, I implore you to see the hidden message in it. It offers a means of finding joy in life when there may be times that it seems as though joy doesn’t exist – like when your toddler goes from content-normal to demon-aggressor while you wasted your time on a necessary blink, or when you can’t seem to recognize that you are happy in your home despite that fact that it is never clean!!!

Let’s look at the world from a different angle every now and then. I can remember clearly a day in which my then-toddler would not relent – she had to be on me, near me, of me for every-second-of-the-day and I needed to prepare her meal or visit the loo or – most likely – leave the room to stomp, kick and curse my way out of the frustration box that I found myself in!!! No matter how I reasoned – be it calmly one moment, through clenched teeth the next, or in an elevated tone of voice with waving arm accompaniment – she would not relent. Then I had a split second of wisdom (I was even shocked by this) that told me to simply sit still. Clearly nothing that I could do as a parent was going to push her through this cling-on day so I had to admit defeat, I mean, realize and accept that there could be worse curses to my day than to hold my child through the times that she needed that security. Perhaps, if I got down on the ground (see above gibberish) I could actually turn this into a ‘different angle’.

In that moment, life slowed down – as did my heart rate and stress – and I took it for what it was. Nothing else would get my attention – only this time it was by choice rather than by force. And you know what – that was ok. We spend our time giving supportive advice to our friends / family / shadow that we so rarely adhere to ourselves! Take it easy on yourself. When you find yourself in a series of dead-end, head-against-the-wall moments just stand still and ask yourself which will cost the bigger price – the ranting, raving and no-win or the roll with it and be-damned approach. Not easy to put into practice admittedly but you have to try – new ideas or ways of being can't get through the door if you don’t open it first.


Next time you see someone fall to the ground - and these opportunities don't happen often so grab it when it does! - why not lay yourself down and see the world from that angle. It's an opportunity for a different view that you may never have had otherwise.

Let me know if you try it - either laying on the ground or, more practically simply stopping the rant and accepting – and what was the result. Good or bad, I want to hear it…post a comment below.

Happy HallowGRE'EN

by Guest Blogger Margot Stevens of A Party Shade of Green

I've been tossing around in my head what would be the greenest option for a costume for my son for this Hallowe'en. I have found an endless list of options for homemade costumes on the internet. I have found the best options for homemade costumes to be those that take advantage of clothes the child already owns, or can be purchased second-hand, and modified. Last year, I was able to put together a scarecrow costume with clothing he was already wearing, a plaid shirt and overalls, to which I sewed patches and yarn "straw", all of which could be removed without damaging the clothes. The great thing about making him a costume out of his own clothes was that he was very comfortable, and barely realized he was wearing a costume.

This year, however, I was just not finding any inspiration this year in the clothes he already wears. So I went to a children's second-hand store, Kaleidescope Kids, and was able to get him a fuzzy dolphin costume for around $13. While I may bemoan the lack of creativity that may go along with store-purchased costumes, I very much appreciate the fact that many of them take the late October weather into mind, and come as warm jackets or one-piece, fleecy outfits. And since it is second-hand, and will be passed along to another friend next year, I think this is as environmentally-friendly as you can get for a costume. I just hope he likes it.

One of my most vivid Hallowe'en memories from when I was a kid was the last minute scramble for working flashlights. We lived in a rural area, and they were a necessity on Hallowe'en, but we never remembered this until after we were already in our costumes, and kids were already knocking at the door. I somehow remember my family having something like a dozen flashlights of various sizes, half of them completely dead, a couple with a little bit of juice, and then another couple that would start out bright, and then wain along the way, and the four of us kids arguing over who should have which one. This year, I'm planning ahead, and I will be stopping by Canadian Tire to pick up a Noma LED Shake Flashlight. No batteries, less than $20, shock resistant, waterproof, lifetime warranty, and it looks like it has received good reviews. I also think my 2 1/2 year old son will enjoy it as well, since for once I will be saying, "this adult-sized thing with lights and buttons - ya, shake it and push the button!" which I'm sure will be followed quickly with "No, not in my eyes!!"

For the other 364 days of the year, it will go in our emergency kit. Who am I kidding, for the rest of the year it will be in my son's toy cupboard. Maybe I should get two.

So next comes the candy - oh, so much candy. I don't think there is a way to stop it, and I don't really want to be the mom handing out raisins and sunflower seeds. Yet. Maybe I'll hand out toothbrushes. One option I have been using in goody bags are Yummy Earth lollipops, which are organic, naturally coloured and flavoured, and free of gluten, tree nuts and peanuts, so they are safer for people with allergies. And as product research, I tasted them all, and yes, they are very yummy. Since I ordered them bulk over the internet, they were much less expensive than buying Hallowe'en candy retail. There is still all the wrappers to go in the garbage, but I'm not sure there is a way around this, until corn-based, biodegradable plastics make it into the wrapper business.

The last thing I plan to do to keep Hallowe'en as green as possible is to convert a reusable grocery bag into my son's candy carrier. I'll be using one of Loblaw's black bags, since it is a good size for a 2 1/2 year old to carry, but also comfortable for me to carry over my shoulder when he gets tired. I'm sure he will be coming home with a number of Hallowe'en themed crafts from day care. I plan to take one of them, mount it on a piece of cardboard and trim it to 7 inches square (just big enough to cover the grocery bag's logo design), attach a couple loops of string to the top of it, and tie the strings to the bag's handles, so the picture hangs down over the logo. Voila, mobile art, a sturdy candy carrier, and a bag that is being reused, and will be reusable again.

Margot is the founder of A Party Shade of Green, providing parents with environmentally-friendly alternatives for kid's parties.

Tots & Tuna A.K.A. I Hate Cooking

I hate cooking - truly, hate cooking. I cook out of necessity and not for joy. I cook because my daughter is hungry. I cook because it's a hard task to ignore.

In my previous life - otherwise known as pre-child days - I could get away with a lovely take out, or a make-it-yourself attitude. My husband often obliged because he prefers his meal to be edible. His own family were quite at ease in the kitchen - creating, with ease, simple and tasty masterpieces that would amuse his senses. I am not of his family. For almost 20 years his mother has been supportive and enthusiastically advising me of culinary creations and for almost 20 years, it has been going in one ear and out the other (sorry Marlene).

In truth, my disinterest in cooking stems from a life-long lack of kitchen confidence. My own mother was a "chef" (definition of chef = can make a lump of stale bread into a steaming and delectable casserole) and I could not EVER compare. My own bumblings would pale next to hers and her discreet and kind pieces of advice and direction, to me, only pointed out my shortcomings. I'll see a therapist some day.

Now, in having a child who requires nourishment - I have become an avid recipe collector. I may or may not do anything with the recipe once I've collected it - but the option is there. I do enjoy taking an interest in recipes whereas I used to rifle past them and only note the picture. Now, I might pause - review the "Time to Prepare" and scan the ingredients list. If the "Time to Prepare" exceeds 30 minutes - my attention is already lost. If it meets my attention deficit, then the ingredients list is the next thing - all items must be familiar to a commoner like me. If there is an ingredient list that I must google to identify - that recipe is NOT being torn from it's current housing.

My pile of recipes grows each month - there is no rhyme nor reason for it - simply a pile that boasts only the accolade that it is "Recipes". Not "Main Dish", not "Fun For Kids" - just "Recipes". Once a month, I'll sit on the floor with my pile and flip through it like a deck of cards - pulling out a dozen that look appealing for that season, that meal or, frankly, my mood. From that dozen-or-so, I put one or two on the fridge for the week - setting my chef-goal at the "try-this-one-out" level. A goal, I'm proud to say, that is often reached. One or two recipes is not too intimidating and having already screened these offerings for "Time to Prepare" and "Familiar Ingredients" factors, they are approachable and safe for me. Life is a lot easier - I don't beat myself about the head with shame - for not creating meals or, if created, not presenting meals that are edible without wincing. In fact, my husband has become an active player in this adventure - engaging in dialogue throughout the meal regarding that recipes attributes or deficits. He has learned, good man, to phrase the deficits in a kind and supportive manner -

Husband: "Honey, what do you think of this recipe? Are you enjoying it too?"
Me: "Well, for a first run, I find it a bit bland. I think next time I'd jazz it up with some more seasonings etc"
Husband: "I agree - it's a good foundation, but would definitely benefit from some of your famous TLC"

Overall, a conversation that is well-phrased and does not invite a launch from my seat to tear off his face and then slap him with it.

I am very pleased to feed my daughter - whether she eats it or not is another post - because I do believe that nurturing your children includes the food you feed them. I want her to enjoy her meals - for the company as much as for the quality - and be physically healthy and happy. I will continue my pattern of recipe collection on her behalf and face my kitchen demons silently inside my head. Both my therapist in future and my MIL will be happy.

On a side note, I do enjoy a good egg-on-the-face gag as well as anyone even when the face dripping the egg is my own and the origin of the gag is my also mine. Therefore, I must admit that the event that precipitated this post topic is, in fact, taken from my own life last night – because I believe that I’ve reached a never-to-be-repeated low causing both embarrassment, as well as, gagging. I was shocked and appalled to realize I was seated across from my hubby at the dinner table last night while he munched...tater tots and tuna. In all honesty, I have to seriously review the evening to trace the path that led to such an atrocious meal. Can you call it a meal? Please consider in my explanation 4 facts – after-school swim lessons, my hubby’s birthday-the-next-day-shopping-to-do, an empty pantry (I have no idea where the tater tots in the freezer came from because I’ve never purchased them???) and a sense of deep exhaustion. The tater tots were my first effort to create a “Brunch-like” dinner – omelets, tots and crusty loaf but I had to run out of the house to get the birthday shopping done while the tots were toasting. By the time I returned from the speed shopping, I could care less about creating an omelet and opted to ignore the tots entirely. Did I mention that my stomach was in knots? A possible oncoming flu?

So I browse my empty pantry and thank my stars for the foresight I had last week in purchasing that can of tuna – for no reason other than “it can’t hurt to have a spare can of tuna” and I decide to make a toasted tuna sandwich. Did I mention exhaustion? Mid way into opening the tin, my energy drained out through my feet and took what little appetite along with it so I left the tuna half-prepared on the counter and walked away. Being as I’d fed my daughter when we arrived home from swimming – an appropriate and well-rounded meal I might add – and I assumed and/or trusted that my husband could fend for himself to find something, I opted to forget a meal for myself and trust that my appetite would bring me downstairs for a late-night bowl of cereal in a couple hours. Don’t worry, I checked to ensure there was milk in the fridge. So…I’m not eating but I sit down at the table with my hubby who has scrounged something onto a plate. I come out of my lethargy long enough to focus on his selection…cold tots, half-prepared tuna and a slice of crusted toast. Now that, good people, is fecking awful.

In times when there is no dignity, laughter can often be heard…

Hey, if you feel up to it...send me a recipe you like, I'd love to try it - or, perhaps, you've your own dinner disaster - blogentry@gingerbreadlane.ca

Happy Thanksgiving Advice Column

The Canadian Thanksgiving weekend is upon us and are a big part of the weekend. Do you enjoy a holiday dinner? Travel to visit family? A day off with the kids?

We found this neat site that explains the holidays origins - if you ever wondered about it - Kidzworld: Canadian Thanksgiving - a fun sight for our older kids to explore a little as well, perhaps while you're cooking turkey!

With my husband, we found that once our daughter was born, we really wanted to begin our own set of traditions that was meant just for her. My husband and I enjoyed our parents traditions for us and didn't have the whole holiday spent traveling - let us repeat this for our own child. This meant, in turn, that traveling to each grandparents house to feast was not feasible. My parents are divorced and that makes 3 families to visit! My husband and I decided that our own holiday 'day' was to be reserved for only the 3 of us - to enjoy some valued time together (in our pajamas if we wished!) as our hectic lives don't really allow for such quiet time very often. The additional days of the holiday weekend can then be spent visiting 1 or 2 of the 3 respective grandparent families. Whichever family was omitted from this particular holiday's visits, gets first dibs on the next one. Fortunately, we have family that is fairly understanding of this arrangement - albeit occasionally disappointed when it's their turn to sit-it-out. It has proven successful in decreasing our holiday stress - the stress that comes from trying to do too much out of obligation / desire but not really fully enjoying it because you are tired/exhausted/"fill in the blank". We do the same at Christmas - Christmas day is ours alone (definitely pajamas this day!) and we spread family visits over Christmas Eve Day, Boxing Day and the week between Christmas and New Years. It's working out quite nicely and makes for fewer and fewer guilt-inducing conversations with grandparents requesting each year to have everyone at their place. They know that we divide the holidays according to our own abilities and fairly to their wishes.

With all this said, as always, I'm keen to share advise on "how to..." - and would love to hear your stress-relief plans for this Thanksgiving. Post your comments below and we'll call it the Thanksgiving Advice Column - GBL-style!

Kids Recipes - Blueberry Pancakes

Can you picture yourself in an apron? Or perhaps, dusted lightly with flour or cocoa? Whatever the outcome, it's fun baking / cooking with your kids and it sets the stage for helpful tots in the kitchen if they are made comfortable and confident now. No pressure! I speak from a kitchen-resistant background - I really do cook out of necessity versus a desire to create from scratch any culinary delight. In order to make anything even remotely edible, I use recipes...love 'em...would be doubled over in gastric agony without 'em...

So, I found this sight for kids recipes that I think is pretty grand - Kids Health, Recipes for Kids

and one such recipe enjoyed from here which also made for a slow-paced and thoroughly engrossing Saturday morning with my daughter was the Blueberry Pancakes. Recipe seen below:

Blueberry Pancakes (Home Made)
Prep time: about 20 minutes

Ingredients:

* 3/4 c. flour
* 1 tbsp. sugar
* 1 tsp. baking powder
* 1/2 tsp. salt
* 1 tbsp. margarine
* 1 egg
* 3/4 c. milk
* 1/2 c. blueberries, washed and drained
* extra margarine for the pan

Utensils:

* stove (You'll need help from your adult assistant.)
* large bowl
* mixing spoon
* saucepan
* medium-size bowl
* whisk
* measuring cups and spoons
* spatula

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Set the bowl aside.
2. Melt the margarine in a small saucepan.
3. Crack the egg into a medium-size bowl, then add the milk and melted margarine.
4. Whisk until everything is well mixed.
5. Add the flour mixture to the egg mixture. Whisk again until both mixtures are blended together.
6. Put extra margarine in the saucepan and heat it on the stovetop on medium heat. It is hot enough when the margarine starts to bubble.
7. Use a measuring cup or a small ladle to spoon the batter into the pan. Put some blueberries on top of each pancake.
8. Cook your pancakes on medium heat until small bubbles appear on the top.
9. Use a spatula to see when your pancakes are light brown on the bottom. When they are, flip them over with the spatula.
10. Cook for another few minutes until the pancakes are light brown on the other side.
11. Remove your pancakes and put them on plates to enjoy!

Serves: 2

Serving size: 3 or 4 medium pancakes

Please note, that this will leave your kitchen an absolute disaster and it's advised that you save your daily shower until after - you've made the pancakes. Don't be deterred - the best kind of fun always has a light dusting of flour...

Humour Your Children

Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Banana…

Some of the happiest and most memorable times I’ve spent with my daughter are those in which we’ve been laughing – over the crazy, little, silly things that fill up our day – like, bum quacks and pizza beards. I grew up in a family in which my father’s side of the family were all jokesters – loving a good egg-on-the-face, twist-of-the-words laugh and I hold many fond memories of get-togethers with them. I also remember reaching an age in which I not only laughed at their quips but began to experiment with throwing a few of my own back at them and receiving a laugh in return. I was so happy and proud of myself for causing a laugh!!

This joviality only grew as I did and I learned to enjoy spreading a laugh to my friends, to my teachers and, truthfully, for myself. The world seemed a lighter place if I could find the humour in it. This foundation served me very well when, as a young adult, I entered into the field of Child & Youth Work – working directly with some very behaviourally challenging teens. When there were many an escalating situation, there were times that I could successfully diffuse it with a fun retort or observation. I’m also certain that humour is a large part of why my husband married me – I’ll let you draw your own conclusions to that statement.

Now I find myself as a weary parent of a three-year old daughter who has been witty even before she had expressive language. I recall a day very clearly when she was an infant and nursing on the breast. Often, when nursing, I found myself simply watching her – observing her expressions, and noting every single little body part – ‘what an adorable little ear’, ‘look how she hugs in real close’, ‘can you believe how big her feet are?’ In developing this habit of staring while she ate, I hadn’t realized that she’d grown accustomed to being observed and one day, my attention drifted away from her cozied form and began gazing around the room instead. Didn’t I hear a little ‘humph’ and I looked down to her to see her smile and squirm with glee for having successfully called my attention back to her! Too funny! She was used to being observed and I laughed out loud when I realized what she’d done – this only caused further smiles and squirms from her in response. Well, I’ll be darned – my infant has a sense of humour!!

In my daughter’s toddler years, I must admit, humour was often lost on her. For example, the term “bum quack” came from a rather duck-like sound discharged from her posterior – I laughed and said that sounded like a bum quack. Didn’t she immediately turn around with a look of terror! She thought there was a duck behind her! I did not wish to terrify my daughter, but I had to laugh even harder and I continued to use the term ‘bum quack’ with all future incidents of toddler flatulence and I’m pleased to say it’s paid off. Quincy can ever so gently break wind and chuckle with “excuse me, I quacked’ and honestly, this is a lot less embarrassing in the grocery store than other obvious statements.

Now, let’s leave the inconsequential and move into the – how-does-this-help-me-as-a-parent realm. As she moved headstrong into her preschool years her fierce sense of independence and pride developed much more. It became beneficial to give or, quite honestly, take a time out for certain challenging situations. What I found though, in doing so, is that my daughter inherited equal portions of stubborn from both my husband and myself – poor tart. This could make a time out both lengthy and tedious. Enter humour. Once the angst has safely passed and your tot is now sitting there simply out of spite, humour can be a very cathartic and healing quality to move the situation forward from frustrating to memorable. An example from my very own home – Quincy (and I) take a time out on the bottom step as it is visible from all angles but far enough away from stimulus as to prove effective. She has spent at least 3 times the necessary beneficial time on the step but was unwilling to move past her pride and return to any other fun task. I didn’t wish to make it another power struggle and I’d rather simply move into our chat about “what was that all about anyway?” Well, the cat sauntered into the room and I promptly disguised my voice into a rather mickey mouse sounding likeness and asked “Quincy, I’m tired and my kitty bones ache, can I have my step back? I’d like to rest there” as though our cat was making a personal request. Quincy looked at the cat, then looked at me – was that a smirk I saw? I didn’t stick around to find out as I sensed her pride would have won out and she’d replace the smirk with an almighty frown if I paid it too much attention. My use of humour and my respect for her pride allowed for her to take a moment to enjoy the joke, then rise from the step unprompted and join me in the kitchen chirping in her own mickey mouse voice “could I have a drink, my kitty mouth is dry” and we proceeded to play-cat throughout dinner prep – a day that I continue to remember fondly.

Parents, I implore you to take a moment and crack a joke with your tots. At the end of our day, we’ll remember those moments best and be able to overlook all the other moments in which we were red-faced and frustrated. Your little one may also learn methods in which s/he might manage her own life frustrations or stresses a little better – whenever possible laugh it off! I know when life hands me lemons, I try to bite in and make a funny face…and that has made all the difference.

PS. Pizza Beard Definition – when you have inadvertently left a piece of your pizza slice on your chin. Most humorous when you are completely unaware of it.

Share a story of your own family fun - either as a comment below or submit your own story to blogentry@gingerbreadlane.ca and we'll post it here

Happy Halloween!

by Guest Blogger Sharon Devellis

October is here with its crisp mornings, a crispness that reminds me of that first bite into a freshly picked apple. The trees stand tall filled with bright coloured leaves like a proud peacock spreading its tail and slowly they start to fall to the ground reminding us of the winter that is to come.

It's also the month that makes me break out in a cold sweat and lay in bed at night fearful of sleep because of the nightmares that will come. Halloween is quickly approaching and lying in his bed on the level below me, sleeping and happily dreaming of the mounds of candy soon to come is my son, The Asker of Impossible Costumes.

It seems like a simple concept. Ask your child what they would like to be for Halloween, they give you an answer and you go to your local big box store and buy it. From the stories I've been told, this is how it actually works in most families.

Well Most Families - I've got a word for you. Two actually. Terry Fox.

This is what Adam wants to be this year. Terry Fox.

Terry Fox?

What the hell is that? What six year old asks to be Terry Fox? What happened to being Superman or a Ninja or a policeman? I'd be happy to dress him up as Michael Myers complete with hockey mask and knife if it would allow me to buy his costume. Because this isn't the first year he's asked for an impossible costume. Oh no - we're now approaching year three of Costumeous Impossiblitus.

Three years ago, it was a pick-up truck. Specifically a yellow pick-up truck with working doors. It took me a month to come up with the idea, sketch it, get the materials, assemble it and paint it - late into the night silently cursing the mothers of children with plastic masks and capes. I managed the yellow. He's still getting over not having working doors. He reminds me of this quite often.

The following year, I was smart and asked him in August what he would like to be. Ha! I am a mother! I will not be beat! Two months is enough time to complete any costume!

What would you like to be Adam?

Either a light bulb or a smoke detector but I think I'd prefer to be a light bulb mum.

What the fuck? Seriously. I need to repeat that. What the fuck?

I wasted the first two weeks of August trying to convince Adam that he would make the most awesomest, coolest, bestest, bad-ass, catch every bad guy who ever lived, super policeman in the whole wide world!!!!!! He could even carry a gun! A gun! Mummy never lets you play with guns! And for Halloween, this one special day, you can carry one! So whaddya say Adam? Wanna be a policeman?

Hmmph - well that was a complete waste of time.

Once I accepted the fact that Adam was going to be a light bulb, I got to work on a plan. And I must say, it was a beautiful plan. One that involved large pieces of sponge, glow-in-the-dark paint and tinfoil. A masterpiece that would have made Thomas Edison proud. Only Adam came to me a week later to say he would prefer to be a smoke detector. One with a green light and siren. Oh, and it must be round mummy. Not a rectangle one.

Sometimes I wonder how frustrating it must be for the 40 year old man trapped inside Adam's little body.

And that brings us to this year. To Terry Fox.

I'm all for encouraging Adam to raise money for cancer - he's raised $300 so far and I'm his biggest cheerleader. But how the hell am I supposed to make a fake leg? Because when Adam asks for a costume, it needs to be detailed. "How can I be Terry Fox if I don't have a fake leg mummy?

So I'll leave it with you dear readers - how does one go about creating a fake Terry Fox leg?

Feel free to email me at sharond@cogeco.ca if you have any ideas 'cause I'm at a loss and the clock is ticking.

And next year, let's discuss why there are only slutty Halloween costumes available for women. Ladies - we need to revolt. No woman over 30 should need to squeeze her body into a Vixen Pirate Wench costume.

Visit Sharon's Blog - Motherhood: The Ultimate Survivor and Sharon Devellis: The Inside Scoop