Happy Halloween!

by Guest Blogger Sharon Devellis

October is here with its crisp mornings, a crispness that reminds me of that first bite into a freshly picked apple. The trees stand tall filled with bright coloured leaves like a proud peacock spreading its tail and slowly they start to fall to the ground reminding us of the winter that is to come.

It's also the month that makes me break out in a cold sweat and lay in bed at night fearful of sleep because of the nightmares that will come. Halloween is quickly approaching and lying in his bed on the level below me, sleeping and happily dreaming of the mounds of candy soon to come is my son, The Asker of Impossible Costumes.

It seems like a simple concept. Ask your child what they would like to be for Halloween, they give you an answer and you go to your local big box store and buy it. From the stories I've been told, this is how it actually works in most families.

Well Most Families - I've got a word for you. Two actually. Terry Fox.

This is what Adam wants to be this year. Terry Fox.

Terry Fox?

What the hell is that? What six year old asks to be Terry Fox? What happened to being Superman or a Ninja or a policeman? I'd be happy to dress him up as Michael Myers complete with hockey mask and knife if it would allow me to buy his costume. Because this isn't the first year he's asked for an impossible costume. Oh no - we're now approaching year three of Costumeous Impossiblitus.

Three years ago, it was a pick-up truck. Specifically a yellow pick-up truck with working doors. It took me a month to come up with the idea, sketch it, get the materials, assemble it and paint it - late into the night silently cursing the mothers of children with plastic masks and capes. I managed the yellow. He's still getting over not having working doors. He reminds me of this quite often.

The following year, I was smart and asked him in August what he would like to be. Ha! I am a mother! I will not be beat! Two months is enough time to complete any costume!

What would you like to be Adam?

Either a light bulb or a smoke detector but I think I'd prefer to be a light bulb mum.

What the fuck? Seriously. I need to repeat that. What the fuck?

I wasted the first two weeks of August trying to convince Adam that he would make the most awesomest, coolest, bestest, bad-ass, catch every bad guy who ever lived, super policeman in the whole wide world!!!!!! He could even carry a gun! A gun! Mummy never lets you play with guns! And for Halloween, this one special day, you can carry one! So whaddya say Adam? Wanna be a policeman?

Hmmph - well that was a complete waste of time.

Once I accepted the fact that Adam was going to be a light bulb, I got to work on a plan. And I must say, it was a beautiful plan. One that involved large pieces of sponge, glow-in-the-dark paint and tinfoil. A masterpiece that would have made Thomas Edison proud. Only Adam came to me a week later to say he would prefer to be a smoke detector. One with a green light and siren. Oh, and it must be round mummy. Not a rectangle one.

Sometimes I wonder how frustrating it must be for the 40 year old man trapped inside Adam's little body.

And that brings us to this year. To Terry Fox.

I'm all for encouraging Adam to raise money for cancer - he's raised $300 so far and I'm his biggest cheerleader. But how the hell am I supposed to make a fake leg? Because when Adam asks for a costume, it needs to be detailed. "How can I be Terry Fox if I don't have a fake leg mummy?

So I'll leave it with you dear readers - how does one go about creating a fake Terry Fox leg?

Feel free to email me at sharond@cogeco.ca if you have any ideas 'cause I'm at a loss and the clock is ticking.

And next year, let's discuss why there are only slutty Halloween costumes available for women. Ladies - we need to revolt. No woman over 30 should need to squeeze her body into a Vixen Pirate Wench costume.

Visit Sharon's Blog - Motherhood: The Ultimate Survivor and Sharon Devellis: The Inside Scoop