I'm not actually talking about locks, cabinets or medicine here. I'm actually referring to dads. Those incredible creatures who have stepped into the role of "dad" with equal mixture of fear and enthusiasm. As we approach Father's Day this month, I thought I would share a few things that I find most incredible about my own 'child-resistant' husband.
1) each and every day when he arrives home from work, he smiles from ear to ear and rushes to kiss our daughter hello, telling her how much he missed her today. I love that she hears her importance every single day.
2) despite the long-term fear of commitment that having a child induced for him "no, I'm not ready!" - 2 years later "no, I'm not ready!" - 2 years after that "no, I'm not ready!" - and 12 years so on (this was just about marriage by the way) - when our daughter arrived a sub-surface shift occurred for him as strongly as it did for me. His daughter became his reason to do better - not attain more and achieve more - but simply be a happier & healthier person each day because he wanted to be that person for her. Life changed profoundly with that fundamental shift.
3) I've worked a lot over this last year and that meant that Daddy became more 'primary' in his parenting. Naturally, I was often (read always) present when my husband and our daughter were together - that's family time - but as I began preparation for Gingerbread Lane and then the day-to-day function of it, my husband was left to parent solo more often than ever before. It was a difficult change for me but I now see the positive effect that having more "daddy time" has had for our daughter. She will turn to him as readily for consolation or a hug as she would to me. She has a relationship building with her dad that may lead to a stronger communication and comfort as she grows older. I watch that with comfort and contentment and am thankful for the opportunity that life presented me so this could happen.
4) I write this with the monitor on in the background and what I'm hearing is not only my daughter's settled breathing but my hubby's snoring...she relaxes with him and I listen to my two most important people sleeping - at peace and in each other's company. This is my sentimental view. My reality is also - "hey, it's really nice to have this quiet moment" - I am a tired mom after all - lol.
Nothing can help us predict our children, our relationship with them or our response to parenting but I believe even the "child resistant" people - we can all admit if we were one of them - will have an incredible opportunity to be the parent you wish to be for your child. Simply because you want to and looking your child in the eye, how can you resist?
Tracey
If you have your own thoughts about "dad" - your own, your mate, or what that role is all about - send them to tracey@gingerbreadlane.ca and we'll post them in honour of Father's Day. All comments welcome below.
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