Gingerbread Trivia Question #1

Which would you choose?
1) A good night's sleep for 1 night


2) Dinner prepared - shopping, preparation and clean up - for 3 nights

Post your choice in comments below - I'm definitely curious...

Lullabye...and good night...

Today, my DD - age 3 - was again helping me fold laundry. We had two basket-fuls splayed across the bed and one of our chihuahuas was sunk in a pillow watching our activity. Both DD & Dog have been slowly establishing a friendly relationship but it is still fraught with occasional turbulence - like DD bugging him while he sleeps and Dog barking at her to leave him alone. Well, despite this new-found camaraderie, DD still has urges to antagonize the dog and a sleeping dog sitting unawares while she is tossing about laundry - er, I mean folding laundry - is just too tempting. She threw a sock at the dog.

To Dog's credit, he actually just opened his eyes and peered at her to ensure there was no further garments heading right at him. I remonstrated DD with a gentle "hey, treat Dog nicely, he's not doing anything to bother you. Now, go get that sock and apologize". DD moved tentatively toward Dog and was fully expecting him to lunge at her in retaliation - instead, he blinked and held her eye contact. DD moved ever so slightly closer and tried to figure out how she was going to retrieve the offensive sock that was draped just behind Dog on the pillow. Dog sighed. DD gingerly stretched out her hand to see if Dog might make a move but promptly withdrew it when Dog moved his tail an inch to the left. DD was nervous... She paused in contemplation then (get this) ... begins to sing "lullabye, and good night..." I can't believe that she came up with that idea. Sing the dog to sleep and then get the sock. Brilliance!

The New "S" Word

by Andriana Mantas of Collaborative Minds

Coping in a stressful world can be tough on all of us, especially children. As our times are changing and we enter a fluctuating economy, adapting to environmental initiatives, and balancing work-time with family-time.
There are many 'stress contributors' that affect each and every one of us in a different manner.

In 1990, my second child who was 4 years old at the time began to blink excessively. Nothing had changed in our lives, but there was something that had changed in our world - 'operation dessert storm' had begun. Even though, the conversations in our home were limited, as was his exposure to any media coverage, he still required more information about this event. We provided him with certain details in order to give him a sense of reassurance that was necessary for him to cope and understand. He didn't want to know about the fighting in the other country; instead he wanted to know how this event would impact his family.

There are many books at the bookstore about stress - one of my favourites, which I often reference, is David Elkind, The Hurried Child, in his book he states that "stress is the wear and tear on our bodies that is produced by the very process of living." Elkind also states that one of the factors that contribute to stress in children's lives is the hurries - to get ready, to go from one place to another, to do well and to grow up. Family disruptions due to death or divorce, health problems, tension and conflict in the home may cause children to develop fear, anxiety and emotional overload, and may contribute to chronic stress.

Children display 'stress signals' that can sometimes go unnoticed and without their own or even our awareness. The more obvious signs are continuous complaints of headaches, tummy aches or neck pain. Nervous habits may become apparent (nail biting, hair twisting, thumb sucking). A child may exhibit a difference in their sleep patterns or excessive energy and trouble relaxing. Subtle signs are a child becomes lethargic, daydreaming and not want to participate in activities. They may also become a little introverted. If you ask your child what's wrong, they may not be able to connect their stress to their actions, or you may have to play detective and look for clues.

So let's look at some 'stress relievers' that can help alleviate the stress for both you and your child. One of the most effective reliefs is to hug your child; this relaxes them and builds self-esteem. It's important to listen to them and when doing so, make a mental note to track changes in moods. Use words of encouragement whenever possible; applaud your child's effort - all of it; help yourself and them to identify their strengths. Be as honest as possible and promote open dialogue for them to express themselves. Insert humour in your daily routine and allow for quiet time, where all you just sit and hang out.

Is stress really the new "s" word?

For more information, please contact Andriana Mantas of Collaborative Minds at 416-803-5321 or collaborativeminds@sympatico.ca

Jump In

Metaphorically speaking, this is an invitation – listen closely and you’ll hear it…”Jump in, dear reader, jump in”. Children bring an exuberance to our lives that we often ignore. I’m guilty of enticing my daughter outside just this past weekend with intention to rake the leaves into a pile and snap photos of the resulting mayhem. But as I search about for the rake, I begin to collect the toys off the lawn and this leads to gathering up the bigger things for packing away for the season, which leads to sweeping off the deck because, hey – now it’s empty, and this leads to, at most, a push on the swing for my daughter…but no great big leaf pile to blow apart with glee because mommy got too distracted by all the things I-want-to-get-done. Moment lost. We came inside then because we were starting to feel chilly (we’d been outside awhile!) and no leaf pile has been built in or around our home. I feel a little tap on the shoulder from the Guilty-Mommy Fairy and could really work this one into a full self-flagellation. My inner therapist is hard at work to keep me from wandering this road again. I’ve been down it enough since giving birth.

With that said, I think there is merit in reminding ourselves that we do need to pause and really be in the moment. Yes, I have been unusually busy and having even 30 minutes outside to tidy up and prep for the cooler weeks ahead was nice BUT that was not the reason I went outside in the first place! My daughter was quite content to amuse herself and sing songs along with me while we both tottered about outside BUT she would have been over the moon to land kerplunk into a waist high pile of leaves. I believe I lost my ‘moment’ and I implore you to not do the same. It’s what life is made of, these moments that come to mind when we are reflecting on happy times with our kids. When we might have actually created a memory for them to reflect on of their own.

Life is like this – my inner therapist won out in convincing me to not spend gobs of energy in the self-loathing department and rather look for (or create) the next moment to remember. It came today with the washable markers and the bath-time approaching disbursement of clothes. Without great detail, we’ll suffice it to say that it is a hoot to draw happy faces where happy faces are not normally seen and then jump into a mile high bubble bath to wash it all off. Too fun! My daughter was giggling like crazy and so was I and it was not lost on me that she, in fact, jumped into a pile of something – even though it was bubbles…

Why I'm So Glad I Taught Myself to Knit Again

by Guest Blogger Margot Stevens of A Party Shade of Green

My grandmother was a prolific knitter. In every one of my aunts' and uncles' homes, you will still find her afghans in daily use. In every one of my cousins' keepsake boxes, a sweater knit especially for us. When the local paper in Port Alberni ran a story on her, and how she took in more than 20 foster kids, some of whom I now count as aunts, there are her knitting needles sticking up in the bottom of the photo. She didn't even put them down for the interview.

But like so many things, I didn't treasure her skills until she was gone. I could only remember the knit stitch she taught me, but not how to cast on or off, and without a beginning or an end, I had nowhere to go. So a few years ago I set out to re-teach myself the skill of knitting, and re-connect with my Granny's gift.

I started with The Complete Idiot's Guide to Knitting, which provided a very strong foundation for the skills I have built over the years. From this really excellent book, I re-taught myself to cast on, knit AND purl, how to increase and decrease stitches, the basics of lace and cables, and finally, how to cast off and construct a garment. After completing a few washclothes and scarves, I decided to try some more complicated projects, and learned how to knit lace shawls and mittens at a yarn shop in Kensington Market. I experimented with hats and baby sweaters, and even a stuffed animal or two.

Once I felt that I could produce knitted items nice enough for gifts, I started knitting mitts and scarves for family members, and I finally realized what drove my grandmother to knit. I have found nothing more satisfying than knitting gifts for others, because it is so much more than just buying a gift at the store. I carefully pick the right pattern for them. Then I choose a yarn that I think would suit them. Then as I knit it, I find I spend a lot of time thinking about the person for whom I am knitting, and this is such a wonderful way to spend the little spare time I can find in my day.

One of the most satisfying moments I had was last winter, when my father-in-law told me that he had been out looking for a new scarf, but could not find one that fit his needs. They were all too scratchy, too colourful, too thin, or too short. So together we designed a scarf that was in essence a very long tube, so that it was always double-thick, and it was knit with two strands of a very soft acrylic in a neutral tone. It took me weeks to knit, but once he had it, he wore it every day for the rest of the winter.

I also found, during my first year of motherhood, that knitting brought me some solace when I was afraid I was losing my mind. There is nothing like the exhaustion, overwhelming anxiety and paranoia of being a new mom, in addition to feeling like you've completely lost your identity in your new role and responsibilities. I found that having a simple knitting project that I could pick up in those few quiet moments, or when I needed to focus on something else so that I wouldn't completely lose my mind, was extremely helpful and relaxing.

If you are interested in learning, or re-learning, how to knit, or just want to find some other knitters to share a cup of coffee with, join us in November of Friday mornings at Gingerbread Lane. Starting Friday, Nov.7th, and then for the next 3 Fridays, I will be facilitating a beginner's knitting project class, along with an intermediate knitting motivation.

For more information on Margot's knitting club, launching Friday November 7th, email info@gingerbreadlane.ca or call 905-271-2900

Margot is the found of A Party Shade of Green, providing parents with environmentally-friendly alternatives for kids' parties.

The Night of Crazy, Make Believe

I feel as though I’ll fit right in. Running about like a maniac – last minutes costume touches, groceries for the night, party supplies prepared at-the-ready (work requirement), laundry so there is clean gitch to even put on under the costume, tidying the front foyer for those intrusive neighbours who step-inside-for-candy, etc, etc has me wishing to clutch my hair in both hands at the root and run hell-bent down the street while screaming and/or drooling with a glazed non-sugar-induced look in my eye! People, I hope, will just assume I’m putting on a show for Halloween night and not be fully aware that I have, in fact, lost my mind…

Happy Halloween everyone.

Halloween Fun - Trick It! Treat It! or Eat It!

By Guest Blogger - Andriana Mantas of Collaborative Minds©

As Autumn is upon us, there are many events and activities that take place including apple picking, Thanksgiving, Halloween, raking and jumping in leaves etc. So let's get into the Dos and Don'ts of Halloween.

Let's begin with the excitement of a choosing a costume. This can either be a very quick decisive process or it can be 'tricky' - and by tricky, I mean that your child may change their mind over and over again. If your child is at an age where you can discuss likes and dislikes favourite characters, heroes, sport teams and players this allows you to create a short list. By narrowing things down and prioritizing, certain items can be hand-made or produced from home. If a trip to the costume shop is necessary, have fun with it and make it adventurous. Now that you have the costume ready to wear, be prepared to see your little one dress up and down over the days or weeks before and after Halloween.

Candy is also a big part of Halloween; in fact there is too much candy just before Halloween, that evening and of course the days following. What to do with all that junk-food? What else can we 'shell out' besides candy to our 'trick-or-treaters'? Some ideas include bubbles, stickers, washable tattoos, pretzels, gift certificate, and beach balls. Other options to help keep the amount of sugar from entering the house is to keep trick-or-treat outings short. Planning an activity helps to get them home quicker without them feeling like they are missing out! Encourage your child to sort through their bags of candy and be selective about which pieces to keep. This provides an opportunity for you to examine the treats and toss candy that may be unsafe. Allow your child to select one or two treats on Halloween night, then find a spot for the excess candy - the location should be out of the child's reach and not easily accessible.

Have a fun and safe Halloween and enjoy all the tricks and treats. To get you into the spirit, below is a song about the 'five little pumpkins'.
Five Little Pumpkins
Five little pumpkins sitting on a gate
The first one said "Oh my, it's getting late"
The second one said "There are witches in the air"
The third one said "But we don't care!"
The fourth one said "Let's run and run and run"
The fifth one said "I'm ready for some fun!"
WOOOOOO, went the wind
And out went the light
And the five little pumpkins rolled out of sight!

For more information, please contact Andriana Mantas of Collaborative Minds at 416-803-5321 or collaborativeminds@sympatico.ca

Daughter-ism Classic

My daughter (age 3), for reasons not entirely yet defined, woke very early this morning - and couldn't re-settle to sleep. First hubby spent some time trying to settle her - she was still tired! - but he needed to rise to get ready for work before she had returned to slumber. I took the next shift with her - starting first rocking with her in her chair then moving quietly to her bed. Throughout this time, I had been gently tickling her arms and back - something she's always enjoyed, even as an infant.
In moving to her bed, I'd quietly negotiated in whispered tones - "mommy will tickle for one more minute, then we'll sit quietly for 5 minutes". This forewarning proves quite effective with our little tart in most situations and faced no resistance in these wee morning hours either. A minute later, the gentle tickles stopped and a moment later I hear in a tiny little whisper..."will you tickle my arm pit?"

"No baby, it's time to settle quietly for 5 minutes."

"Mommy, can you tickle my arm pit?" - she's now draped her appendage across my face & neck to encourage this motion.

This entire dialogue could not be heard by the dogs...it was that hushed.

"No baby, I'm not discussing this...we had a deal...5 minutes quiet".

Next, and without pause...she responds with...

"This is ridiculous..."

Toddler, Toddler, Get Off My Leg!

There was a woman walking down the street, minding her own business and appearing to enjoy the view of a beautiful day and peaceful surroundings. She was moving along at a comfortable pace when her toe caught on something and she fell directly to the ground with no time even to break her fall. She skinned her chin and was splayed about across the ground for several moments before she actually realized what had happened – one moment she was moving along and enjoying the moment and the next she was bloodied and sore. I saw this woman fall – and in my own split second moment opted to join her on the ground rather than simply lend her a hand because I thought it was a rare opportunity to see the world from a different angle.

Dear reader, have you scrolled back and re-read that first paragraph wondering if you are over tired or, perhaps, inebriated? You have not lost your mind, it is gibberish but, I implore you to see the hidden message in it. It offers a means of finding joy in life when there may be times that it seems as though joy doesn’t exist – like when your toddler goes from content-normal to demon-aggressor while you wasted your time on a necessary blink, or when you can’t seem to recognize that you are happy in your home despite that fact that it is never clean!!!

Let’s look at the world from a different angle every now and then. I can remember clearly a day in which my then-toddler would not relent – she had to be on me, near me, of me for every-second-of-the-day and I needed to prepare her meal or visit the loo or – most likely – leave the room to stomp, kick and curse my way out of the frustration box that I found myself in!!! No matter how I reasoned – be it calmly one moment, through clenched teeth the next, or in an elevated tone of voice with waving arm accompaniment – she would not relent. Then I had a split second of wisdom (I was even shocked by this) that told me to simply sit still. Clearly nothing that I could do as a parent was going to push her through this cling-on day so I had to admit defeat, I mean, realize and accept that there could be worse curses to my day than to hold my child through the times that she needed that security. Perhaps, if I got down on the ground (see above gibberish) I could actually turn this into a ‘different angle’.

In that moment, life slowed down – as did my heart rate and stress – and I took it for what it was. Nothing else would get my attention – only this time it was by choice rather than by force. And you know what – that was ok. We spend our time giving supportive advice to our friends / family / shadow that we so rarely adhere to ourselves! Take it easy on yourself. When you find yourself in a series of dead-end, head-against-the-wall moments just stand still and ask yourself which will cost the bigger price – the ranting, raving and no-win or the roll with it and be-damned approach. Not easy to put into practice admittedly but you have to try – new ideas or ways of being can't get through the door if you don’t open it first.


Next time you see someone fall to the ground - and these opportunities don't happen often so grab it when it does! - why not lay yourself down and see the world from that angle. It's an opportunity for a different view that you may never have had otherwise.

Let me know if you try it - either laying on the ground or, more practically simply stopping the rant and accepting – and what was the result. Good or bad, I want to hear it…post a comment below.

Happy HallowGRE'EN

by Guest Blogger Margot Stevens of A Party Shade of Green

I've been tossing around in my head what would be the greenest option for a costume for my son for this Hallowe'en. I have found an endless list of options for homemade costumes on the internet. I have found the best options for homemade costumes to be those that take advantage of clothes the child already owns, or can be purchased second-hand, and modified. Last year, I was able to put together a scarecrow costume with clothing he was already wearing, a plaid shirt and overalls, to which I sewed patches and yarn "straw", all of which could be removed without damaging the clothes. The great thing about making him a costume out of his own clothes was that he was very comfortable, and barely realized he was wearing a costume.

This year, however, I was just not finding any inspiration this year in the clothes he already wears. So I went to a children's second-hand store, Kaleidescope Kids, and was able to get him a fuzzy dolphin costume for around $13. While I may bemoan the lack of creativity that may go along with store-purchased costumes, I very much appreciate the fact that many of them take the late October weather into mind, and come as warm jackets or one-piece, fleecy outfits. And since it is second-hand, and will be passed along to another friend next year, I think this is as environmentally-friendly as you can get for a costume. I just hope he likes it.

One of my most vivid Hallowe'en memories from when I was a kid was the last minute scramble for working flashlights. We lived in a rural area, and they were a necessity on Hallowe'en, but we never remembered this until after we were already in our costumes, and kids were already knocking at the door. I somehow remember my family having something like a dozen flashlights of various sizes, half of them completely dead, a couple with a little bit of juice, and then another couple that would start out bright, and then wain along the way, and the four of us kids arguing over who should have which one. This year, I'm planning ahead, and I will be stopping by Canadian Tire to pick up a Noma LED Shake Flashlight. No batteries, less than $20, shock resistant, waterproof, lifetime warranty, and it looks like it has received good reviews. I also think my 2 1/2 year old son will enjoy it as well, since for once I will be saying, "this adult-sized thing with lights and buttons - ya, shake it and push the button!" which I'm sure will be followed quickly with "No, not in my eyes!!"

For the other 364 days of the year, it will go in our emergency kit. Who am I kidding, for the rest of the year it will be in my son's toy cupboard. Maybe I should get two.

So next comes the candy - oh, so much candy. I don't think there is a way to stop it, and I don't really want to be the mom handing out raisins and sunflower seeds. Yet. Maybe I'll hand out toothbrushes. One option I have been using in goody bags are Yummy Earth lollipops, which are organic, naturally coloured and flavoured, and free of gluten, tree nuts and peanuts, so they are safer for people with allergies. And as product research, I tasted them all, and yes, they are very yummy. Since I ordered them bulk over the internet, they were much less expensive than buying Hallowe'en candy retail. There is still all the wrappers to go in the garbage, but I'm not sure there is a way around this, until corn-based, biodegradable plastics make it into the wrapper business.

The last thing I plan to do to keep Hallowe'en as green as possible is to convert a reusable grocery bag into my son's candy carrier. I'll be using one of Loblaw's black bags, since it is a good size for a 2 1/2 year old to carry, but also comfortable for me to carry over my shoulder when he gets tired. I'm sure he will be coming home with a number of Hallowe'en themed crafts from day care. I plan to take one of them, mount it on a piece of cardboard and trim it to 7 inches square (just big enough to cover the grocery bag's logo design), attach a couple loops of string to the top of it, and tie the strings to the bag's handles, so the picture hangs down over the logo. Voila, mobile art, a sturdy candy carrier, and a bag that is being reused, and will be reusable again.

Margot is the founder of A Party Shade of Green, providing parents with environmentally-friendly alternatives for kid's parties.