Humour Your Children

Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Banana…

Some of the happiest and most memorable times I’ve spent with my daughter are those in which we’ve been laughing – over the crazy, little, silly things that fill up our day – like, bum quacks and pizza beards. I grew up in a family in which my father’s side of the family were all jokesters – loving a good egg-on-the-face, twist-of-the-words laugh and I hold many fond memories of get-togethers with them. I also remember reaching an age in which I not only laughed at their quips but began to experiment with throwing a few of my own back at them and receiving a laugh in return. I was so happy and proud of myself for causing a laugh!!

This joviality only grew as I did and I learned to enjoy spreading a laugh to my friends, to my teachers and, truthfully, for myself. The world seemed a lighter place if I could find the humour in it. This foundation served me very well when, as a young adult, I entered into the field of Child & Youth Work – working directly with some very behaviourally challenging teens. When there were many an escalating situation, there were times that I could successfully diffuse it with a fun retort or observation. I’m also certain that humour is a large part of why my husband married me – I’ll let you draw your own conclusions to that statement.

Now I find myself as a weary parent of a three-year old daughter who has been witty even before she had expressive language. I recall a day very clearly when she was an infant and nursing on the breast. Often, when nursing, I found myself simply watching her – observing her expressions, and noting every single little body part – ‘what an adorable little ear’, ‘look how she hugs in real close’, ‘can you believe how big her feet are?’ In developing this habit of staring while she ate, I hadn’t realized that she’d grown accustomed to being observed and one day, my attention drifted away from her cozied form and began gazing around the room instead. Didn’t I hear a little ‘humph’ and I looked down to her to see her smile and squirm with glee for having successfully called my attention back to her! Too funny! She was used to being observed and I laughed out loud when I realized what she’d done – this only caused further smiles and squirms from her in response. Well, I’ll be darned – my infant has a sense of humour!!

In my daughter’s toddler years, I must admit, humour was often lost on her. For example, the term “bum quack” came from a rather duck-like sound discharged from her posterior – I laughed and said that sounded like a bum quack. Didn’t she immediately turn around with a look of terror! She thought there was a duck behind her! I did not wish to terrify my daughter, but I had to laugh even harder and I continued to use the term ‘bum quack’ with all future incidents of toddler flatulence and I’m pleased to say it’s paid off. Quincy can ever so gently break wind and chuckle with “excuse me, I quacked’ and honestly, this is a lot less embarrassing in the grocery store than other obvious statements.

Now, let’s leave the inconsequential and move into the – how-does-this-help-me-as-a-parent realm. As she moved headstrong into her preschool years her fierce sense of independence and pride developed much more. It became beneficial to give or, quite honestly, take a time out for certain challenging situations. What I found though, in doing so, is that my daughter inherited equal portions of stubborn from both my husband and myself – poor tart. This could make a time out both lengthy and tedious. Enter humour. Once the angst has safely passed and your tot is now sitting there simply out of spite, humour can be a very cathartic and healing quality to move the situation forward from frustrating to memorable. An example from my very own home – Quincy (and I) take a time out on the bottom step as it is visible from all angles but far enough away from stimulus as to prove effective. She has spent at least 3 times the necessary beneficial time on the step but was unwilling to move past her pride and return to any other fun task. I didn’t wish to make it another power struggle and I’d rather simply move into our chat about “what was that all about anyway?” Well, the cat sauntered into the room and I promptly disguised my voice into a rather mickey mouse sounding likeness and asked “Quincy, I’m tired and my kitty bones ache, can I have my step back? I’d like to rest there” as though our cat was making a personal request. Quincy looked at the cat, then looked at me – was that a smirk I saw? I didn’t stick around to find out as I sensed her pride would have won out and she’d replace the smirk with an almighty frown if I paid it too much attention. My use of humour and my respect for her pride allowed for her to take a moment to enjoy the joke, then rise from the step unprompted and join me in the kitchen chirping in her own mickey mouse voice “could I have a drink, my kitty mouth is dry” and we proceeded to play-cat throughout dinner prep – a day that I continue to remember fondly.

Parents, I implore you to take a moment and crack a joke with your tots. At the end of our day, we’ll remember those moments best and be able to overlook all the other moments in which we were red-faced and frustrated. Your little one may also learn methods in which s/he might manage her own life frustrations or stresses a little better – whenever possible laugh it off! I know when life hands me lemons, I try to bite in and make a funny face…and that has made all the difference.

PS. Pizza Beard Definition – when you have inadvertently left a piece of your pizza slice on your chin. Most humorous when you are completely unaware of it.

Share a story of your own family fun - either as a comment below or submit your own story to blogentry@gingerbreadlane.ca and we'll post it here

Happy Halloween!

by Guest Blogger Sharon Devellis

October is here with its crisp mornings, a crispness that reminds me of that first bite into a freshly picked apple. The trees stand tall filled with bright coloured leaves like a proud peacock spreading its tail and slowly they start to fall to the ground reminding us of the winter that is to come.

It's also the month that makes me break out in a cold sweat and lay in bed at night fearful of sleep because of the nightmares that will come. Halloween is quickly approaching and lying in his bed on the level below me, sleeping and happily dreaming of the mounds of candy soon to come is my son, The Asker of Impossible Costumes.

It seems like a simple concept. Ask your child what they would like to be for Halloween, they give you an answer and you go to your local big box store and buy it. From the stories I've been told, this is how it actually works in most families.

Well Most Families - I've got a word for you. Two actually. Terry Fox.

This is what Adam wants to be this year. Terry Fox.

Terry Fox?

What the hell is that? What six year old asks to be Terry Fox? What happened to being Superman or a Ninja or a policeman? I'd be happy to dress him up as Michael Myers complete with hockey mask and knife if it would allow me to buy his costume. Because this isn't the first year he's asked for an impossible costume. Oh no - we're now approaching year three of Costumeous Impossiblitus.

Three years ago, it was a pick-up truck. Specifically a yellow pick-up truck with working doors. It took me a month to come up with the idea, sketch it, get the materials, assemble it and paint it - late into the night silently cursing the mothers of children with plastic masks and capes. I managed the yellow. He's still getting over not having working doors. He reminds me of this quite often.

The following year, I was smart and asked him in August what he would like to be. Ha! I am a mother! I will not be beat! Two months is enough time to complete any costume!

What would you like to be Adam?

Either a light bulb or a smoke detector but I think I'd prefer to be a light bulb mum.

What the fuck? Seriously. I need to repeat that. What the fuck?

I wasted the first two weeks of August trying to convince Adam that he would make the most awesomest, coolest, bestest, bad-ass, catch every bad guy who ever lived, super policeman in the whole wide world!!!!!! He could even carry a gun! A gun! Mummy never lets you play with guns! And for Halloween, this one special day, you can carry one! So whaddya say Adam? Wanna be a policeman?

Hmmph - well that was a complete waste of time.

Once I accepted the fact that Adam was going to be a light bulb, I got to work on a plan. And I must say, it was a beautiful plan. One that involved large pieces of sponge, glow-in-the-dark paint and tinfoil. A masterpiece that would have made Thomas Edison proud. Only Adam came to me a week later to say he would prefer to be a smoke detector. One with a green light and siren. Oh, and it must be round mummy. Not a rectangle one.

Sometimes I wonder how frustrating it must be for the 40 year old man trapped inside Adam's little body.

And that brings us to this year. To Terry Fox.

I'm all for encouraging Adam to raise money for cancer - he's raised $300 so far and I'm his biggest cheerleader. But how the hell am I supposed to make a fake leg? Because when Adam asks for a costume, it needs to be detailed. "How can I be Terry Fox if I don't have a fake leg mummy?

So I'll leave it with you dear readers - how does one go about creating a fake Terry Fox leg?

Feel free to email me at sharond@cogeco.ca if you have any ideas 'cause I'm at a loss and the clock is ticking.

And next year, let's discuss why there are only slutty Halloween costumes available for women. Ladies - we need to revolt. No woman over 30 should need to squeeze her body into a Vixen Pirate Wench costume.

Visit Sharon's Blog - Motherhood: The Ultimate Survivor and Sharon Devellis: The Inside Scoop

Can We Make a Pumpkin Pie Mommy? (Recipe Included)

I have discovered that, as my child ages (she's now 3) her expectations of me also increase. It is fall and along with these cooler days comes seasonal decorations that include pumpkins. Gorgeous little pie pumpkins that are a perfect size for my daughter to hold. Accompanying this gesture of veggie affection is a a complementary vocabulary - for example "can we make pumpkin pie Mommy?" Imagine, if you will, my facial expression the first time this is uttered... Make pumpkin pie...hmmm...sure honey!

What am I thinking? I'm no baker and am quite honest about this culinary deficit but when your own child looks you in the face with such glee and you, yourself, have very fond memories of your own mother baking up sheer masterpieces, you wish to give this same dessert foundation experience to your own offspring. "Sure honey - let's make pie!"

Then comes a good 5 to 7 days of frenzied requests to friends for a recipe and/or a frantic search through your own mental rolodex of "can't-do-it" excuses. No excuse seems sufficient and you've got to keep the "big ones" for situations that truly merit them (example - "no we can't have Christmas at Grandma's house this year - how will Santa know where to deliver surprises?")

Alas, if any of you are crazy enough to commit to such obligations, I thought I could at least provide you a recipe. Let me know how your pie turns out...

Pumpkin pie (from fresh pumpkin)

Ingredients:
2 cups mashed cooked pumpkin
12 oz Carnation milk
2 eggs lightly beaten
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp each cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and salt

Preparation:
PREHEAT OVEN TO 400F 1/2 pumpkin, scoop out seeds and stringy portions. Cut into chunks and boil in about 1 inch of boiling water, Drain, cool and remove peel. Mash, drain well again. Roll out crust and transfer to pie pan. With mixer on medium, beat pumpkin with evaporated milk, eggs, brown sugar and spices. Mix well. Pour into crust. Bake 40 minutes or until knife inserted 1 inch from edge comes out clean

Servings: 8

Thank you to http://www.canadianliving.com/food/pie__pumpkin_pie_from_fresh_pumpkin.php for providing the recipe :)

Random Marble

I just stepped on a marble as I was walking across the floor and I’m not sure if it’s one that my daughter left behind or, perhaps, one of the few remaining ones lost from my own head. Either way, I picked it up and put in my pocket. You can never be too safe.

I Miss My Period

What!? What??? Does this imply good news? A great surprise? A sick sense of self-loathing..?? Close that thought - wipe your mind clear of any preconceived notions - and consider this. I miss the period at the end of my sentences.

What?! This woman's ticking nuts - what the pink twill does she mean?

I waited a long time for my toddler to talk. At least it felt like a long time because she came out of the womb frustrated that she didn't have full expressive language! Until she could begin to express herself verbally she was a wailing, screaming dervish and once she began to articulate words, her dervish dropped off significantly and a collective breath of relief passed through our household instead.
Throughout this extended phase, a number of veteran parents would say - "first you are praying for them to talk, then you are praying for them to be quiet". Yes, indeed.

Now, my daughter is a toddler - in fact, moving into her "preschool" years and her chatter is welcome but incessant. There are whole days in which I've not heard the end of a single sentence that I've started - and I miss my period. I would find that punctuation-of-pause a relief - "yeah, a finished thought!" My daughter's mind, and now her mouth, runs from thought to thought enthusiastically and it's not so much about the individual thought itself but more about the opportunity to explore so many thoughts in toddler "real time". "Toddler real time" is - for every one adult second, there are 4.2 toddler seconds and for each toddler second there is an independent and unique thought. Within our one second or one effort to speak or respond, our toddler is already onto another thought - or 4.2 several. We are left with our mouth hanging open or our tongue bit in frustration and a slightly louder voice with our next barely-there response. Sigh...

It's fun to sit back and simply watch our little one's brain at work...wow!! Slow down!! Child, you're going to self-destruct with the infinite possibilities playing tennis in your head! In the meantime parents, know that you will (eventually) and with great patience and repeat interuptions, teach your child social graces - like allowing a person to finish their sentence - period!

Know what I mean? Leave a comment below - I won't interrupt I promise.

How Do You Recharge?

I'm wondering if that is actually my own drooping eye-bags that I feel resting against my cheeks...

It's been a busy two weeks of transitioning back to school along with all the normal "crazy-ness" and I'm wondering where I'll find a moment to recover some of my waning energies. Each day feels as though I am beginning a packed-full day on a half-full tank. It is not a complaint - I lead a full and productive life. I am merely pondering - as my lower eyelids rest comfortably on my face - what can I cram into an already busy lifestyle that is purely self-indulgent. A hobby perhaps...

It's got me thinking - why not think something so simple as a hobby to death - that I wonder what other people do for fun, to unwind, or to give yourself a moment (or several) of simple pleasure.

Do you scrapbook?


Enjoy a glass of wine?


A nice cup of tea?


A jog?


Some rock wall climbing?


Read a good book?


Catch up on some blogs?


My mind literally becomes overwhelmed with possibilities and I'm left unmotivated to start any one of them...where would I begin? I'm seeking a way to form a new habit that is purely meant to sooth and nurture my spirit, so I can appreciate this life's journey a little more - feel like I have a say in it rather than feel that I'm being pushed around by it. How do you begin a new hobby? Give me some ideas...

I'm a firm believer (read previous posts) that breaking tasks down into simple steps is an easy way to get things done - without excuses that "there's no time!". But I need some inspiration so I ask you - the reader - this...

1) what can you suggest as indulgent hobbies? something you've enjoyed or, perhaps, something you've always been curious to try?

2) what has stopped you from finding and participating in a hobby?

3) what advise would you give me to get started?

I'd like to see your comments. This could be a grand starting point as a motivational tool in all of our crazy, overworked lives!

I gently push my saggy eyelids back into their rightful place, take a deep affirming breath and click "post"...

Cheers to the Apple Season - Recipe

In the 'Spirit' of Apple Season
Did you think it was going to be a back-to-school lunch box or dinner time recipe? We've enough of those I think - now, let's raise a glass to the season and a couple more gray hair earned in the transition -

Sour Apple Martini Recipe
3 oz. Lemon Lime Juice
3 oz. Apple Juice
1 oz. Dekuyper Sour Apple Pucker Schnapps (R)
1 oz. Absolut Vodka (R)

Directions: In a tall glass with ice, add two alcohols and then the apple juice and soda. Stir and enjoy!

Have your own martini recipe? Send it to info@gingerbreadlane.ca and we will post it on the blog

Transition Back to School

Guest Blogger - Andriana Mantas, Collaborative Minds

September brings along many changes with children attending schools or child care programs. Whether this is your child’s first year of school or re-entering the same school in a different classroom, many emotions and events are occurring both for you and your child. Some of these might be: will he/she socialize? Will the teacher be receptive to my child’s needs? Will he/she be able to acclimatize? Children naturally gravitate to other peers as part of the stages of play development. Having open dialogue with your child’s teacher is important. This can occur at the end of the day or you may choose a communication book. Regardless of their age, prepare your child and allow them to bring a favourite item from home.

How to ease the transition from summer holidays to school mode? It is important to create a consistent routine or schedule of events. First and foremost, establish routines that can be easily implemented for you and your family. Routines cater to the needs of the family offering good communication, identifying items of importance and promoting a sense of togetherness. Routines help families to organize themselves as in morning drop off or evening pick up. Children appreciate the consistent activity and predictability that routines provide. Begin by setting up an after-school routine which ends with bed-time. Try to include low key activities towards the end of the day and provide warnings as the family moves into the next activity. For example, “after this game, it’s bath time.” Keep routines consistent and follow them daily, even on the week-ends.
And if you have yet to find suitable child care arrangements, what options do you have? First decide if you prefer a location close to home or place of work. Some options are a child care centre or nursery school, home care provider, and nanny.

When deciding upon a child care centre or nursery school, conduct telephone interviews, inquire about availability, age range, teacher-child ratio, teacher qualifications, understanding the program schedule outlining the schedule in more detail, nutrition, number of years in service, licensing and hours of operation, then go out for a visit. More information can be found at www.children.gov.on.ca If a home care provider is preferable, the search can be made via an agency or on your own. By visiting the home and meeting the provider, ensure that the learning environment is supportive and conducive to your child. Having a Nanny could also pose a viable solution. There are agencies that represent Nannies or the selection can be done independently. Once again take the time to meet and interview all potential nannies who will be able to meet the needs of your child.

Knock, Knock...Socks Here

Perish the thought - am I jumping ahead a little? I packed my daughter for her first day of school today and, fortunately, it is a beautiful sunny day and sandals were our footwear of choice. As I was strapping up, a moment of forethought brought the realization that our sandal days are numbered. Soon, fall and, perish the thought, winter will be upon us, and sandals will be retired or, if worn as intensely as mine, discarded entirely. Sock drawers will be rummaged through - a sigh exhaled over the tired selection and shoes will be withdrawn from their closeted hibernation. Subconsciously, as I write this, my toes have stretched themselves in unusual directions as though already escaping the confines of sock and shoe. Let's pause for a moment of reflective, toe-polished silence...

Now, I believe in getting my life organized in small reasonable chunks. In fact, I have learned this method through years (and years and years) of watching my mother, myself and most friends that I know, experience intense and heart-pounding moments (ney, days) of frustrations because we "can't get it all done", "can't get caught up", "can't get enough help", "can't ________(you place your own complaint)". We can go for years, perhaps our entire lifetime, of not realizing that it's not, in fact, the time/help/circumstance factor that is causing such chaos and disorder in our lives - it is only us. Yes, you. Know that this is no criticism - I don't believe in kicking someone when they're down - it is meant to be the pep talk that I think we've all needed at some point in our lives - as we weep over the mountain of laundry that appears to clone itself, as we curse over the piled up bills that won't file themselves and as we wail to any victim passing within earshot and yet unable to hear. My suggestion, as it pertains to the transition from sandals to socks is this - don't go into the closet believing that the closet needs to be "cleaned up", that the winter clothes shopping needs to be done 'right now!" (save that as a reward for later) and that the bag of donations must be delivered today or the poor sods will freeze - otherwise, this simple transition has already taken on astronomical proportions and your heart rate has already gone up in a non-positive fashion. Busy families can grab 5 minutes at a time, at best, so work with that...

Enter the sock drawer and purge. I am laughing out loud as I realize I knowingly wore mismatched socks last year. A charcoal gray and a light gray pair each lost their respective partners but I said to myself "there's still plenty of wear left in these close friends" and I kept the darn things. With a summer's worth of distance between myself and that stupid decision I can now enter my drawer, locate the not-quite-right pair and toss 'em. But don't stop there - bring the garbage can with you - purge the unsightly, holed, mismatched socks from each drawer in your home. It shouldn't take you more than 5 minutes if you keep yourself focused. Don't even think about opening the t-shirt drawers or, heaven forbid, your undies. Keep your eyes on your feet and plod on...

When you are finished, walk away - know that you have completed a part of the seasons preparatory tasks in a very reasonable time frame.

Break each step of this foot-garnishing ritual into 5-minute challenges. Get the kid(s) involved (if it will help the process rather than hinder it). Set a timer to add extra motivation to keeping it to five minutes and whether the task is done or not, walk away when the timer dings. I enjoy a favourite song rather than a timer because I find myself singing / dancing along and quite enjoying the moment - I walk away when the song is done. If you hit 'repeat' on the stereo, consider that you may have an obsessive-compulsive flaw and should possibly seek professional help.



Suggested 5-minute challenges to get the 'big task' done:
* Empty current closet of all summer wear discarding those too-worn sandals (please don't make me look at them again next year - are you trying to evoke pity from friends?) and keeping the in-good-shape ones in the closet still (gotta wear something until you pull warm shoes out, right?
* When you are next out on errands and anywhere near a clothing retailer (ex. getting diapers at Walmart) then swing around and pick up the socks that you need for the family. Don't get distracted - this is only supposed to add five minutes to your errand.
* Pull out warm footwear and purge too-ratty pairs from each member of the family - make mental note of what needs to be replaced. Give a vacuum or a sweep from their seasonally ignored location.
* When it is now consistently too chilly to hang onto the sandals, grab a laundry basket, pile the summer gear into it and dump about 2 feet away from the winter gears home. Transfer the winter gear into the basket, play a game of toss and match in that deep-closet location with the summer stuff and take the basket of the winter stuff to the most active closet and deposit it. Unless, your family is vigilant about lining things up (again, consider professional help) leave the darn things in a reasonable pile. There is a good chance that is the same pile you will see - and successfully retrieve - your own shoes from for the upcoming season and everyone else seems to do just fine too. Really, you must pick your battles and learn to let the small things go...

For the sake of variety in a day, you can incorporate a couple five-minute challenges from different parts of your home - winter clothes, packing away the outdoor furniture, clearing out the no-longer-used toys, etc so that you feel as though you are making progress in a few areas. As long as progress is made, stop beating yourself up over your unreasonable desire to get-it-all-done. Recognize your strengths - that you are attending to everything in an organized and do-able fashion - pat yourself on the back for that success and grab a coffee.

Send your sock drawer pictures to blogentry@gingerbreadlane.ca or post a comment below - and why not send in your own 5-minute challenge idea?

The Gingerbread Book Club

I am a loyal fan to a good book - will tell everyone I know (within reasonable conversational opportunity) about a good read or a well-written thought. As part of our monthly Gingerbread Book Club I get to expand this conversation within a group and would like to bring that forum to you - our Gingerbread Lane Family Community. I keep posted on this blog the upcoming Book Club selections and would be thrilled if you would share your thoughts for any of the upcoming selections. I will keep posted a blog entry re: the Gingerbread Book Club to keep the conversation going. You are invited to comment - about the book posted or any that you see have been "clubbed" or will be "clubbed". Or, perhaps you have a recommendation of your own? Let me know - I love a good read...



Read It - Read It - Read It

For the month of September, I'm keen to share "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini. Mr. Hosseini has the ability to tell a story with maturity and detail that I find refreshing. The story provides a personal connection to the main characters that develops into a close bond by the end of the story. Truthfully, I often found myself hesitant to pick the book up at night (I read at bedtime) as I had a preconceived notion that the content was dry and slow-moving. How pleasantly wrong I was!! I had to admit to myself by about mid-novel that despite my hesitancy to engage, once I began reading - within the first paragraphs in fact - I was drawn back to the story and continued enthralled much longer than my weary self would have/should have permitted.

The characters are 'full-bodied' people who you can see with greater physical and emotional clarity as Mr. Hosseini shares their story. You find Mariam and Laila's story overlapping in the most tragic and obvious of ways - are you thankful that they did? I am angered by the circumstance and history of the story - the brutal war and social situation that the characters lived throughout - it's a story I was naively unaware of. I found a unique respect and sorrow for Mariam and still think of her in the days following the completion of my reading.

I greatly appreciate when an author tells a story intelligently without the over-the-top hype that spoon feeds readers (and more commonly move-goers) the small details of the story. Mr. Hosseini allows the reader to develop their own emotion or attachment as he unfolds details, history and personality. I encourage you to read this book - at some point in your life - to enjoy a truly intelligent and compelling read.

Please post your Book Club comments below:
Did you like this book? Didn't like it at all?
Have a book you'd like to recommend?
Want to offer your own thoughts about A Thousand Splendid Suns?